Suck Leafs Suck

Leafs nation is on suicide watch as the team suffers through a prolonged skid of losing to weak teams.

The Leafs were already getting everybody's 2nd best goaltender and yet they were still giving away points at an alarming pace. The latest losing streak has the pundits chanting in unison that something, anything, must be changed.

Here are the options;

- Change the team. Normally, this is the first thing a team would look at. The Leafs are bad, don't have young talent coming up the pipe, and have a couple of assets that might be worthwhile on the open market. Here's the problem, as much as Leafs Nation have mentally prepared themselves to deal Mats Sundin for Sidney Crosby it isn't going to happen. Nor are they going to get Jarome Iginla, or Vincent Lecavalier. Sucks to be you.

Here is a look at trading any of the top 10 salaries on the team;

1. McCabe - he's hurt, has a no-trade clause, and is ridiculously expensive. Of all the contracts JFJ handed out, this one hurts the most.

2. Mats Sundin - has publicly declared he does not want to go anywhere, has a no-trade clause, and while he's still just a shade off of awesome, he's 37 and a free-agent at the end of the year.

3. Jeff 'I have cancer and now can't score' Blake. What can you get for a guy who is deep into his 30's, expensive and suffering from cancer?

4. Pavel Kubina. Un-tradeable. How bad is your GM when this loser is your 4th highest paid player?

5. Thomas Kaberle - expensive, but as a healthy puck-moving defender in his prime - he's actually worth it. IMO he's trade-bait #1. He's also aside from Sundin the teams best player, and still young enough to build around.

6. Darcy Tucker - hurt, under-performing and at $3M a year moderately expensive. If you can get a 3rd rnd pick for him you are probably lucky.

7. Hal Gill. The immense glacier of a defenseman is on pace for 30 pts and +4 on the season, but the hulking defender makes $2.1M a season. His lack of footspeed is worrisome, but aside from Kaberle is the teams best defenseman right now and might bring something in return.

8. Raycroft. At $2M a year he's an expensive back-up and with a GAA of 4.01 he's not exactly Ty Conklin.

9. 10. Antropov and Pony Boy. Presumably, neither of these guys is on the block as they are young, relatively inexpensive (around $2M a season) and actually productive.

Worse, despite the insistence of Glenn 'Leafs-GM-in-waiting' Healy that the Leafs should get '5-6 good assets back for Sundin, and then re-sign him in the summer' (oh yeah, as if that will happen), the fact is he has a no trade clause and has publicly stated he doesn't want to go anywhere. Maybe he changes his mind - but right now, I doubt it.

- How about firing the coach?

Paul Maurice, is IMO the one decent thing about the Leafs. He's smart, experienced, and I believe getting the best out of an ill-motivated, pampered and untalented pack of yahoos. If I were looking at re-building a franchise he is exactly the kind of coach I'd be looking for. So if I have the gun, I don't pull the trigger on P-Mau

- Fire the GM?

Obviously. RE-signing McCabe to his deal (4 years and $26M remaining on it) was a mistake. Massive mistake. Blake was a horrible free-agent choice before he got diagnosed with cancer. The Kubina signing reeks of desperation, and is cap killer at $5M a year. All in all he was acting like a GM without a budget limit despite the fact there was a salary cap coming in. He has developed no young talent, traded for no assets to help rebuild the farm, and made the Leafs older rather than better. Worst of all, he simply wasted three good years from Mats Sundin. Utterly wasted them.

That all said, if you fire JFJ now, who can you get to come in with half a season to go? Cliff Fletcher as an interim guy? Scotty Bowman on a Bryan Colangelo 'give me the keys and go away and leave me alone to let me work my magic' kind of deal?

Here's the trick, if (and it's a big IF) there is a possibility of trading Mats Sundin (presumably by asking him nicely to waive the no-trade), JFJ isn't the guy to do it as he is both incompetent and whats more has been publicly told that if he misses the playoffs he doesn't get re-hired. Well, if he trades Sundin, he is missing the playoffs. So how do you make a guy trade his top player just so you can then turn around and fire him? Absurd.

- Conclusion

As the unpaid consultant to the Leafs I would recommend the following to fix the Leafs;

- Fire JFJ immediately. If you can get Cliffy to take on the stewardship in the short term, awesome, if not, check with Bowman, if not him, Craig Button and Neil Smith are both available and experienced, and as a last resort I'd promote Maurice to interim GM. Anyway I cut it, JFJ has to go. Whoever comes in this year gets the job only as an interim guy unless it's Bowman/Fletcher on a 'write your own ticket-full control-no oversight' deal.

- Keep Maurice, let the new Mgt evaluate him.

- Pursue discussions with Mats about waiving the no-trade. If he says 'no', say 'ok, we respect your decision, and no hard feelings, and let's talk about an extension at a lower salary so you can retire as a Leaf'.

- Trade Kaberle to a Western conference team. I'd target the Sharks (who need a puck-rushing defender) and target to get back a package of Logan Couture and(?!) Matt Carle.

- See if the Pens will give me a 2nd rnd pick/or Erik Christenesn for Tucker. They are missing Roberts since he went down, and Tucker would fill the same role.

- Trade McCabe (if possible - he has a no-trade clause) to a McCabe friendly environment like the Islanders (where he has expressed having fond memories) for a bag of pucks (or whatever I can get). Just moving his obscene contract off the books will be worthwhile. If the Islanders actually send back any kind of picks(a 2nd?) or prospects that are worthwhile all the better.

- Waive/buy out; Raycroft and Kubina.

- Trade Blake anywhere he can get good health-care. He's not worth hanging on to except as a means of eliciting sympathy.

- Under no circumstances should the Leafs;

Hire an inexperienced loudmouth idiot like Healy to be their GM
Trade draft picks away
Pursue sub-mega-star restricted free agents like Dion Phaneuf that will cost them draft picks as compensation.

The team is desperately in need of young talent, and that comes through the draft and via trades. You can't afford to buy any until you've restocked the team.

- Pursue drafting/trading for a new franchise forward, defenseman and goaltender (though Justin Pogge may be the guy for the last role). This will take time and patience.

Following my advice would create immediate cap space, add a few draft picks, add a young player or two, shake the teams chemistry up, and place them in a new direction. It also will require that the new people in charge prepare to take some time to right the ship and allow the talent to mature. At a minimum, the Leafs need to miss the playoffs for between three and five years to stockpile high end players.

So while the problem is 'Suck Leafs Suck', the solution is actually a recommendation to suck harder .