Good times, good times

So today brought us the news that Jay Bouwmeester has agreed to a deal with the Flames.

Which rocks in so many ways, as this gives Calgary one of the if not the best defense corps in the league and locks in a relatively youthful set of defenders for the near future.

But to make matters even more extra special good, the Oilers offered Andrew Cogliano, Dustin Penner, and Ladislav Smid to the Sens in a deal for Heatley, and reports are that Heatley has either flat out refused to waive his no-trade clause, or decided to sleep on it.

Either way the Oilers faithful are pulling their hair out. First because they felt like they gave up too much (losing Cogliano in particular makes them squirelly) and then because Heatley may refuse to move to the hinterlands and play in front of people who would prefer Andrew Cogliano to a full fledged 100pt/50 goal guy.

Like I said, good times.

Brian Burke draft day outakes

Not really, but they are hysterical.

My favourite;

(At the Leafs draft table.)

Dave Nonis: I saw you talking to Paul Holmgrem at the Flyers table. Did he have any interest in Kaberle?

Burke: Not yet, but give him a few minutes. I used an old psychological trick I learned in law school to plant a subliminal suggestion. The next time he hears the term "all-star defenceman", he won't be able to turn down any trade no matter how ridiculous.

Nonis: Wow.

Burke: It's foolproof. In a few minutes I'll walk back over, mention Kaberle, and he'll grab his ankles.

Nonis: Hey look, he's talking to Bob Murray.

Burke: Uh oh.

Nonis: They're shaking hands.

Burke: Son of a...

Quote of the Day

"The great thing about being an Oiler fan is you can actually feel hope fade as early as June."

- Lowetide


Pronger Vision

(click on picture to enlarge)

NHL ED Gathering, FunHL ED Draft Order

Hi guys,

It was great to see so many of you on Friday (and Cam on Saturday). The Shanks South location was not as committed to showing the draft, low volume becoming no volume after Calgary picked, as Flames Central was last year but is free parking was what it took to get everyone there it was a reasonable price to pay. Special shout out to Bob for flying out, Dan for interrupting a move-in and to Corey for getting someone else to take the free-kick for him so he could show.

The Flames certainly stole day two of the draft with getting J.Bo's rights - I suspect that they sign him but only if he gives them a home Province discount. He could command more than Campbell, given his age and reputation, and someone - I think Burke - will offer it. The question is whether he would prefer to be closer to home (a theme that the Suter boys will be able to speak on with some authority).

Speaking of Burke, who didn't have a little smile on their face watching him stew in his own juices as LA snags B.Schenn off the board. Yes, yes, you wanted Kadri the whole time - you go convince yourself of that and then come back and try and convince us. The Oiler-nation always enjoys watching Burke go ballistic so this would have been a good draft at that point but when MPS slipped to 10th we were thrilled. While drowned out by the Bouwmeester deal on day two the Oil go on to take MPS's line-mate A.Ladner, Finnish speed demon Rajala and goaltender O.Roy (no relation) out of the Q. All in all, a good draft for Oil-town.

As for the FunHL Draft, Rob wanted some play-by-play of the ping-pong balls (rather poker chips of fate) so I'll try and do my best to provide it:

Darrell, as the champion - and congrats once again - pulled out the first chip, a #2 for the second place finisher, the Highlanders, who are pleasantly surprised and state their intention to select first. Bob pulls out the next chip and pulls out a Darrell's #1 and our defending champion will attempt to repeat as he selects from the number two spot. I pull Cam's number out of the bag next and, as per his Malkin-replacement instructions, assign the Severed Heads the 12th slot. Brian pulls out a previously selected number first and then pulls out Mike Getta's number - who takes slot three. I can't recall if the Scourge or Dan are selected next, though they go back to back with Chris taking slot 11 and the Great Whites taking slot 4. Bob gets slot 10 and Collin slot 5. Brian grudgingly takes slot 9 (as opposed to 6) when his chip is drawn with Corey getting slot 6. Rob's chip is actually the last chip drawn (as Richard will get the other slot) and takes slot 7 instead of 8. Richard, as per his prediction, gets the remaining pick at slot 8.

The Order then is as follows:

1 - Highlanders
2 - Personal Vendetta
3 - Knights Templar
4 - Great Whites
5 - Edge
6 - Ramapithicines
7 - Wolves
8 - Lost Boys
9 - Bladerunners
10 - Shadowmen
11 - Scourge
12 - Severed Heads

Trade lines are open, see you all in September.



Nope, not the start of Stampede but the NHL ED... and shortly after that the FUNHL draft lottery... and shortly after the first trade(s) of the year get announced (guaranted - Bob and I already have at least one worked out ;-)



Possible Heatley trades

The news today is that Heatley has offered the Sens a list of teams he would accept to be traded to;

Los Angeles Kings, New York Rangers, San Jose Sharks, Detroit Red Wings, Chicago Blackhawks, Vancouver Canucks and Boston Bruins are apparently all on the list. As per the article, St Louis, Edmonton, Colorado and Minnesota are teams that may have an interest.

Assume for the moment that the Red Wings are an unlikely destination for cap reasons (they won't be able to keep Hossa, let alone take on Heatley) here are some possible moves the others might make;

Los Angeles: Frolov-L, Johnson-D

This rumour is absolutely everywhere for good reason. Frolov is the meat and potatoes, an above average scoring winger with decent size who while young, has nevertheless reached his peak. Johnson is the sizzle. A multi-talented defender with oodles of skill he is also a head-case who is already looking at being moved to his third team before his 23rd birthday.

The Rangers: Roszival-D, Grachev-C, 1st rnd pick

Most Ranger generated rumours include Zherdev as part of the deal, but nobody seriously thinks the Senators would take him back in the package. Most Senator generated rumours include Marc Staal in the deal, but again, nobody seriously thinks that will happen on the Rangers side. Roszival is a decent player with an anchor contract and since the Rangers have to give up salary in any trade he is clearly the most attractive anchor they have (i.e. it won't be Redden, Drury or Gomez), Grachev and a 1st gives the Sens a decent prospect and a future pick to rebuild with, which all things considered is a pretty fair return. That all said, getting a deal done with the Rangers is probably the least likely scenario Murray faces as cap issues necessitate the Rangers having to include ballast salary in any deal.

The Sharks: Marleau-C, Vlassic-D

IMO something like this is by far the most likely scenario. Marleau is a top-end talent with a similar salary who needs a new destination. Vlassic is a decent young player to saw the edge on the trade. Everybody is happy.

Chi-Hawks: Campbell-D

Campbell is now superfluous given the improvement of Keith, Seabrook etc., and his salary is comparable to Heatley's. The Hawks need a big veteran scoring winger to compliment Toewes/Kane, and Heatley fits them to a T. The only problem I see is that the Sens aren't the best fit for Campbell and would likely prefer a forward to a D-man as the key cog in any deal. This deal gets bonus points for being raised by Cassie Campbell on the local Fan 590 hockey talk show. Mmmmm Cassie Campbell....

The Canucks: Kesler-C, Bieksa-D (the rumour I heard was actually Kesler and 'any D-man but Edler')

Wow, but I just don't see it. If the Sens get this as an offer they should jump at it. Kesler is an excellent 2nd/3rd line pivot with brute strength and Selke credentials, and Bieksa is a top tier powerplay QB with a fearless physical dimmension. Not the sexiest offer offense wise, but in terms of quality players coming back this might be the best hockey deal out there - which is why I doubt it would happen.

The Bruins: Kessel-L, Bergeron-C

Makes sense money wise, and the Bruins concentrate some of their talent in one guy as opposed to having to split ice-time amongst a spread of offensive centers. For the Sens it gives them a top line offensive winger with youth in Kessel, and a solid playmaking pivot who is a genuine #2 in Bergeron. Looks like a win-win to me, but would the Sens make this kind of a deal with an Eastern rival they might meet in the playoffs?

St Louis: Berglund-C, Jackman-D

The steak is Barrett Jackman, a solid all purpose (if undersized) defenseman who can log heavy minutes without glaring mistakes or significant offensive contribution, he would plug right in to the Sens top 4. Berglund is the sizzle, a power pivot with skill his ceiling has yet to be reached. For St Louis they have Oshie (whom they won't part with) , so moving Berglund isn't a devastating move, and the team is thin on talent at the wings, especially talent in its prime (i.e. Kariya and Tkachuk don't count).

Colorado: Smyth-L, Shattenkirk-D, 1st rnd pick.

Smyth balances the salaries out somewhat and makes the deal possible for the Avalanche. He would also provide grit and muscle two things lacking on the Sens top lines. Shattenkirk is by far the Av's best prospect, and would be the sweetener needed for the Sens to consider the move. The 1st is a future building block.

Edmonton: Cogliano-C, Gilbert-D, 1st.

Edmonton writers and fans are practically salivating at the thought of landing a bona fide goal scorer in Heatley. The only deals I haven't seen involve Gagner, which makes sense. That said, Cogliano has all the appeal of a really young Todd Marchant (lightning fast but unproven offensive ability), and while Gilbert is nice young offensive talent, I wonder if the combination will be enough to appeal to Murray over possible other options. I would discount the thought that Murray will take back a package that includes either Penner or Nilsson except as throw ins on larger deals.

Minnesota: Burns-D or Harding-G, PM Bouchard-L

A young stud D-man with offensive upside and physical bite would seem like exactly what the doctor ordered. So why would Minny do it? Two reasons; 1. Burns has had concussion and shoulder issues which may make him damaged goods, and 2. Burns is not happy with how the team has treated his injury issues. The Harding/Bouchard deal would also make sense for Minny in that Harding is now logjammed behind Backstrom and Bouchard has shown that his talents may not be the best fit for the Wild. Last but not least, the Wild will be losing All-Star Marian Gaborik to a free agency offer, and Heatley would neatly replace his offensive production with the benefit of better health.



Strange but True...

...the Detroit Red Wings aren't actually all that good at the draft table.

Just one of the many interesting conclusions drawn from a data analysis of NHL draft history.


My New Job

Sorry I will not be able to pass on any insider knowledge.

(Rob, I edited your link to be a hyperlink: ch)


Why didn't Babcock match lines vs Malkin?

A really interesting discussion piece on Tom Benjamin's blog asking the title question.

It was one of the most interesting sub-plots of the finals, Detroit's Mike Babcock had made it clear he was going to shadow Crosby with Zetterberg and Lidstrom whenever and wherever possible. As we saw, he juggled lines constantly with Bylsma to get the matchups he wanted (and Bylsma to his credit did the same to have Crosby avoid the matchups whenever he could). The result was that Crosby had limited success offensively throughout the series - while Malkin ran roughshod over the lesser defenders/forwards he faced.

Given that the damage Pittsburgh was doing came largely from Malkin's line and not Crosby's, why not switch your best defensive defenseman, and best defensive forward (who wasn't injured ala Datsyuk) onto the guy who was killing you?

Benjamin's answers;

- Because Babcock figured he needed to shut down either Crosby or Malkin
- Because the personnel at hand were much better suited to shutting down Crosby

Mirtle's comment/answer;

- Because in the finals last year Malkin didn't require the best defenders to be shut down

My answers;

- Babcock should have split the responsibilities up. Have Zetterberg shadow Crosby, and let Lidstrom neutralize Malkin

- Malkin is God, and you cannot shadow Malkin because it just makes him angry, so why even bother trying.



Multi-Blog NHL Mock Draft

James Mirtle, of From The Rink , which is also on our quick-list on the side, has a neat twist on the whole Mock Draft idea. He's getting the SB Nation's NHL Bloggers (for each of the NHL Teams) to make the mock selection for their covered team and explain why. Its a clever idea and a nice way for the differnt team blogs to show there stuff.

I for one am enjoying the process, though the 3-picks a day rate is almost Dan-like in its pacing :-)


Goal of the Year Vote

Here are your candidates for GOY:

Malkin's over the shoulder move

Nick Lindbergh's behind the back shootout;

Johan Franzen's Superman;

Linus Omark flip shot;

Henrik Sedin's spinorama-rama;

Alexander Semin from his knees;

Blake Spino-O-rama;

Ovechkin's off-the-wall - from his butt - shelf;

Hagman channels his inner Jagr;

Drew Stafford's toe-drag;

Zednik's leaper;

Blake Wheeler 1 on 5;

Datsyuk splits the D;

Linus Omark's sick goal;

Bobby Ryan's Spin-0-Rama hat trick goal;

Malkin's All Star Game between the legs goal;

Leino's 1st NHL goal scored going backwards;

What is the Goal of the Year?
Evgeni Malkin's over the shoulder move
Nick Lindbergh's behind the back shootout
Johan Franzen's Superman
Linus Omark flip shot
Henrik Sedin's spinorama-rama
Alexander Semin from his knees
Jason Blake Spino-O-rama
Alex Ovechkin's off-the-wall - from his butt - shelf
Niklas Hagman channels his inner Jagr
Drew Stafford's toe-drag
Zednik's leaper
Blake Wheeler 1 on 5
Datsyuk splits the D
Linus Omark's sick goal
Bobby Ryan's Spin-0-Rama hat trick goal
Malkin's All Star Game between the legs goal
Leino's 1st NHL goal scored going backwards
pollcode.com free polls

Proposal 1 B - Date of WD1

If rule proposal 1 is passed. The week of when WD1 should occur should be determined for a standard. We would still be allowed to adjust this plus or minus a week as we do today to accomodate schedules.


Judge says 'No' to Ballsy and Hamilton

ESPN reports that the Balsillie bid did not offer enough time to be completed.

FUNHL News and Notes

Was that an awesome playoff season or what?

Well the trophies have been handed out, and the season is officially over, which means it's the off-season now, and with it comes withdrawal, depression, and worst of all, baseball highlights where our hockey scores used to be. Its a kind of hell that can't end soon enough.

- With the Entry Draft coming up as officially the most exciting moment in our hockey lives till next year's Bible drops, here's a another NHL Draft preview to mull over.

- The receptionist at my workplace is a die-hard Wings fan. With the Pens down a game I made her a playful bet that if the Wings won I would wear deely-bobbers of her choice (and she has literally hundreds of humiliating choices) for an entire week. With the game 7 victory by the Pens I will be treated to her smiling face each day wearing my Lemieux Penguins jersey. S'all good here.

- Turns out Lidstrom suffred from a crushed testicle as a result of a Patrick Sharp spear during the Chi-Hawks series, and that the games he missed were for surgery to repair it. Kinda redefines 'tough' doesn't it?

- Brian Rafalski played through a herniated disk in his back - also a pretty tough cookie.

- Dany Heatley has requested a trade from the Senators through his agent. Other than the demand itself, there hasn't anything other than speculation as to why, with rumours about him pouting due to decreased ice-time and Cory Clouston's coaching style being the most common suggestions. I have several thoughts about this;

*Heatley's trade demand was made quite some time ago, and has been kept quiet till now. Speculation is that Heatley made this public to put pressure on the Sens to make a deal, but I wonder if it wasn't the Sens making it public to paint him as the bad guy. The Sens haven't exactly been the picture of organizational excellence, so I've refrained from making a judgement as to who is being the bigger dick just yet.

*Bailing on the only two teams you've been a part of is not sending the right signal Dany. No matter how this plays out moving forward, it just doesn't look good.

*Heatley's ice-time fluctuations did not go unnoticed by me. They seemed haphazard at best once Clouson arrived, and his lack of powerplay time was mystifying to me, not to mention immensely frustrating. Was he Clouson's designated in-house whipping boy? Based on the inexplicable numbers I'd say probably.

*The most persistent rumours I've heard are to the Oilers for a package of; Gilbert, Cogliano and a pick. Which seems pretty fair value at both ends. I can't see Gagner being part of the deal though, and I'm certain Edmonton would cheerfully throw in Penner or Nillson if Ottawa was dumb enough to ask for them.

*The suggestion that Heatley might join the Flames in a swap for Phaneuf strikes me as dreaming in technicolour by Ottawa fans. Not that the Flames wouldn't be interested in Heatley, I'm sure they are, but they would have to be really sour with Phaneuf's performance to deal him now - and I just don't see it. More likely to me would be Jokinen, a defense prospect like Negrin and a pick, or even straight up for Miika Kiprusoff. Regeher would be another option, but I have trouble seeing Ottawa brass get excited over recieving a stay-at-home stud for a 50 goal scorer.

*The most likely destination IMO is San Jose. He'd be an ideal fit for Thornton's wing which he has sucessfully patrolled in past Canadian team events, and the obvious return of Patrick Marleau and tidbits (say a 1st and or defense prospect Nick Petrecki) to the Sens would be close to fair value. If Heatley lands in San Jose I predict now that Thornton will lead the league in scoring with over 100 assists, and Heatley wins the Richard with 60+ goals. Book it.

*Would Boston part with Kessel and Bergeron to get a deal done? The salaries would work out, and the return looks fair to me. Bonus points for Heatley wearing the classic black and gold and getting to play with Savard again.

*As the guy who owns Heatley I have to say I think this sucks. Ottawa is a team I enjoyed cheering for, and in Spezza they have a pass first centerman who creates plenty of room for Heatley to do what he does best - score goals and rack up points. If he ends up elsewhere (like Edmonton, ugh), there is no guarantee that he would have linemates that can help him or that he would wear a jersey I might ever want to own. From a purely personal perspective I hope he ends up in Calgary (dream, dream, dream) Boston, Vancouver or San Jose, with Edmonton being my 'oh-please-god-no' destination.

*For comedy's sake, I wonder what would it take for Phoenix/Hamilton to land him?

- Ray Emery is going to sign with the Flyers. Which seems just about perfect in every way. Bob Clarke and Ray Emery were positively made for each other.

- Look for Biron to end up as an Oiler. It makes too much sense for him not to. Say 'bye bye' to Dwayne-I'm-pushing-40-Roloson as an Oiler - unless he takes a one year deal, or accepts a position as goalie coach.

- The Brent Sutter departure makes it seem likely that this year or next he'll be coaching the Flames. This year if Darryl makes an offer to Lou Lamouriello that Lou likes, or next year regardless. Either way, expect a Sutter to be behind the bench for the forseeable future. Judge that however you will.

- I've got to believe that Bouwmeester ends up a Leaf. Burke has too much money to spend, and a giant need to fill, and Bouwmeester fits the bill to a T. The Sedins will be of serious interest to him, but I think Vancouver finds a way to keep them, and that makes J-Bo the next item on Burkes list.

- I say Martin Havlat returns to Chicago.

- Bobby 'The God' Holik has called it quits. Bon Voyage Bobby, I will miss that awesome unibrow, the nose that ended on one side of his face and that super scary head scar. But most of all I will miss saying 'The God' Bobby Holik.

- I honestly don't know where Gaborik will end up, but my gut says on the wing with Pavol Demitra in Vancouver.

- Apparently the lumbering Derian Hatcher may make a comeback. Good luck I say.

- Lots of defections to the KHL, Sergei Fedorov, Viktor Kozlov, and Dmitri Kalinin are all moving on to the Russian league, and Maxim Afinogenov seems more than likely to go as well. Washington Capitals management who have been hit hard by some of the losses, but are nevertheless openly hoping that their failed free agent signing Michael Nylander will void his long term contract and join them all on the first boat to Sevestapol.

- Nashville has been unsuccesful in luring back Igor Radulov, which impacts their offense substantially.

- Speaking of the KHL, they instituted their first NHL style draft, and specficially included 17 year olds. Gosh, I wonder why they would do that? Perhaps to get them under contract and extort more money when the NHL comes calling? No, that couldn't be it, could it?

- Rumours continue to swirl around Vincent Lecavalier getting dealt at the draft. The fuel for these rumours is the newly stated intent of the Bolts to stay at the salary floor - one presumes until management can make a few more 'Saw' sequels and pad the bank accounts. For the record I thought the first 'Saw' movie was pretty awesome, 2 was pretty good as sequels go, and 3 pretty bad. I don't know anyone who has seen all five.

- Among the revelations of the Balsillie mess are that the NHL's way of calculating attendance is almost arbitrary - pick a number, any number. Phoneix was losing way more money than they let on, and they padded the attendance figures to keep it from being obvious. I'd feel bad for the Phoenix fans but in truth, there don't appear to have been more than a couple of thousand. Also revealed were by-laws that allow Bettman to fine owners for saying just about anything he didn't like about any topic. He may be the BOG's representative, but the fact he can assess a quarter million dollar fine to a board member for speaking out during negotiations with the Union, or for harping about the refs too much, sure puts Bettman in the big boy pants.

- I also note the passing of Peter Zezel to a rare blood disorder at the age of 45. After a stint in Philly (where he was drafted) Zezel was the setup man for Brett Hull's 72 goal season in St Louis, and went on to play a 2nd/3rd line centre role for a bunch of teams including the Leafs, New Jersey and Vancouver. A notorious playboy bachelor as a Flyer he reportedly had to be traded out of town because they had run out of puck bunnies to feed him in the greater Philadelphia area. Just a pure bummer to lose him so young.


Conspiracy Theories...

Video evidence of Crosby shaking hands with the Red Wings


Best Playoffs Ever?

For most of the people on this Blog the Flames march to victory in 1989 was the high-point of NHL hockey, but putting personal loyalties aside for a moment can you remember a better post-season (stem to stern) then what we have been enjoying for the last couple of months?

I was trying to go through all the comebacks (Pens in game 6 of the Flyers series following the Talbot-Carcillo fight or the matter-of-course comebacks that Chicago managed against the Flames and Canucks); the drama (be it the the Sid vs Ovie battle, including the dualing hat-tricks, or the last minute, nay last second, heroics of the Huricanes against New Jersey and then Boston; the psyco-drama of Avery and Torts doing they synapse-snap routine in the Rangers-Caps series; the Staal goal againt Osgood; the Fleury save off Carter and the Varlamov save on Crosby and I couldn't do it justice. I just keep going, WOW, this is fantastic hockey.

Inarticulate as hell, but there it is. Sorry to see the season end tonight, can't wait for the draft in two weeks.

Go Pens!


Ballsy's bid

It looks like things may be shaping up in his favour after today.

The judge wants the NHL to negotiate a transfer fee for Hamilton.

Which tells me that;

A. There are no other serious offers to purchase
B. The team is moveable (albeit for a price)

The judge also noted that Quebec transfered to Colorado in less than a month despite internal bylaws that Bettman insists would take months to clear - the league claims 'extraordinary circumstances' for the Quebec move, and the Judge apparently found that amusing.

All of which tells me that the Judge is serious about getting the best deal for the creditors, that Ballsy's deal is currently the best, that a 'transfer' fee might reasonably be part of the package, that Ballsy can walk away if the number is too high (but would be free to try again with a different team in similarly dire straits).

In other words, the hand Ballsy is playing looks pretty good all of sudden. Even better when you factor in his ability to pay even a ridiculous 'transfer fee', that he has been previously approved by the BOG (something the judge has taken note of) and positively awesome when you figure he can probably play more than just the Phoenix hand (i.e. he might try again in Atlanta, Florida, Tampa Bay, etc.).

I predict;

- the transfer fee will be in the neighbourhood of $200M (making Balsillies total $412M), 100M for the league and 100M to split between Toronto and Buffalo (40/60)

- Ballsy will pay it.

- The Coyotes will cease to exist and become the 'Hamilton Vengeance' in time for next season to start.

- Shane Doan may get a buy out (he has a no-move clause as his young family is entrenched in Phoenix), or become a free-agent.

- I have trouble seeing how Bettman survives being castrated publicly in court by Ballsy. That said, could anyone have done better for the BOG than Bettman has?

- I had said the odds for Ballsy were 50/50, but I now think they are closer to 80/20. IMO, he's clearly winning.



What draft slot do you want? Better respond to this post ASAP as the Crown Royal Slot Selection of Death will be held on the 26th or 27th of June!

The Shadowmen want the highest possible position...like 1...

Other Gms please respond to this post for your preferences...

Hamiton not in Torontos Division

Jim's official application suggestion for divisions did not have Toronto and Hamilton in the Same division. With Colorado moving to the Pacific and STLouis moving to the Northwest, Hamilton in the Central.

Here are more geographically logical suggestions. The Pacific and Southeast are the same in both scenarios. Chicago, StLouis, Columbus and Ottawa are the trickiest to place.

Option 1
Ott, Tor, Ham, Buf, Det
NYR, NYI, NJ, Bos, Mon
Phi, Pit, Was, Cbs, Stl
Cal, Van, EDM, Min, Chi
Nas, Fla, TB, Atl, Car
SJ, ANA, LA, Dal, Col

Option 2
Tor, Ham, Buf, Det, Chi
Ott, Mon, Bos, Phi, Pit
NYR, NYI, NJ, Was, Cbs
Cal, Van, EDM, Min, Stl
Nas, Fla, TB, Atl, Car
SJ, ANA, LA, Dal, Col


Quote of the Day

"You can't spell 'Drake Lebda' without Abdelkader"

- John Buccigross


Going Back To The Start

Inspired by Coldplay's 'The Scientist', the montage operates in reverse - and is nothing short of mesmerizing.

Here's the original