10/02/2007

PRESS: Lost Boys Introduce Brute Squad

TORONTO—GM and owner of the Lost Boys, Richard Birt introduced this year’s line-up to legions of cheering fans at the Conrad Black Memorial Arena. The Lost Boys were particularly proud of having no less than four players who posted more than 95 penalty minutes in the 2006-07 season. (Fans may dismally remember that previously the Lost Boys had resorted to playing Saku Koivu as TG, shortly before he went on to win the 'Humanitarian of the Year' and “Lady Byng” awards.)

“You not touch Richards.” One new Lost Boy was quoted as saying on this happy occasion.

“Duh... hey... how many teef you got?” remarked another smiling Lost Boy to his team-mate.

Local media noticed how dashing star forward and second-round draft pick and potential TG Mark Savard looked in the Skull and Crossbones. “Heh heh heh… me like scoring” said the erudite Mr. Savard.

When asked for their opinions on Mr. Savard, one of his fellow Lost Boys was quick to state to the press “I said: you not touch Richards!”

With strong forwards, thuggish defensemen, and a top 5 goalie GM Birt was quick to clarify that it won’t all be shut-outs, beatings and scorings on this year’s road to the Predator Cup. “Our players are also engaged in a top-rate educational program to increase their strategical thinking. I can’t really say more than it’s based around a thinking man’s Bridge. You can ask the players for more details”

“Duh... you got any fives?” Said one defenseman.

“BRAARGH!! ALLEN SAY: YOU NOT TOUCH RICHARDS!!!” Another Lost Boy claimed shortly before he was escorted away due to unspecified security concerns.

Fans are looking to another thrilling season for the Lost Boys, this year’s intellectual powerhouse on the FUNHL circuit.

1 comment:

Bladerunner said...

Mr. Morrow and Mr. Jackman (and maybe Mr. Shelley) are looking forward to their week 4 socializing with pretty boys Savard and Richards.

As to the Conrad Black Memorial Center...I'm sure he will be touched ;-)