FUNHL News and Notes

Was that an awesome playoff season or what?

Well the trophies have been handed out, and the season is officially over, which means it's the off-season now, and with it comes withdrawal, depression, and worst of all, baseball highlights where our hockey scores used to be. Its a kind of hell that can't end soon enough.

- With the Entry Draft coming up as officially the most exciting moment in our hockey lives till next year's Bible drops, here's a another NHL Draft preview to mull over.

- The receptionist at my workplace is a die-hard Wings fan. With the Pens down a game I made her a playful bet that if the Wings won I would wear deely-bobbers of her choice (and she has literally hundreds of humiliating choices) for an entire week. With the game 7 victory by the Pens I will be treated to her smiling face each day wearing my Lemieux Penguins jersey. S'all good here.

- Turns out Lidstrom suffred from a crushed testicle as a result of a Patrick Sharp spear during the Chi-Hawks series, and that the games he missed were for surgery to repair it. Kinda redefines 'tough' doesn't it?

- Brian Rafalski played through a herniated disk in his back - also a pretty tough cookie.

- Dany Heatley has requested a trade from the Senators through his agent. Other than the demand itself, there hasn't anything other than speculation as to why, with rumours about him pouting due to decreased ice-time and Cory Clouston's coaching style being the most common suggestions. I have several thoughts about this;

*Heatley's trade demand was made quite some time ago, and has been kept quiet till now. Speculation is that Heatley made this public to put pressure on the Sens to make a deal, but I wonder if it wasn't the Sens making it public to paint him as the bad guy. The Sens haven't exactly been the picture of organizational excellence, so I've refrained from making a judgement as to who is being the bigger dick just yet.

*Bailing on the only two teams you've been a part of is not sending the right signal Dany. No matter how this plays out moving forward, it just doesn't look good.

*Heatley's ice-time fluctuations did not go unnoticed by me. They seemed haphazard at best once Clouson arrived, and his lack of powerplay time was mystifying to me, not to mention immensely frustrating. Was he Clouson's designated in-house whipping boy? Based on the inexplicable numbers I'd say probably.

*The most persistent rumours I've heard are to the Oilers for a package of; Gilbert, Cogliano and a pick. Which seems pretty fair value at both ends. I can't see Gagner being part of the deal though, and I'm certain Edmonton would cheerfully throw in Penner or Nillson if Ottawa was dumb enough to ask for them.

*The suggestion that Heatley might join the Flames in a swap for Phaneuf strikes me as dreaming in technicolour by Ottawa fans. Not that the Flames wouldn't be interested in Heatley, I'm sure they are, but they would have to be really sour with Phaneuf's performance to deal him now - and I just don't see it. More likely to me would be Jokinen, a defense prospect like Negrin and a pick, or even straight up for Miika Kiprusoff. Regeher would be another option, but I have trouble seeing Ottawa brass get excited over recieving a stay-at-home stud for a 50 goal scorer.

*The most likely destination IMO is San Jose. He'd be an ideal fit for Thornton's wing which he has sucessfully patrolled in past Canadian team events, and the obvious return of Patrick Marleau and tidbits (say a 1st and or defense prospect Nick Petrecki) to the Sens would be close to fair value. If Heatley lands in San Jose I predict now that Thornton will lead the league in scoring with over 100 assists, and Heatley wins the Richard with 60+ goals. Book it.

*Would Boston part with Kessel and Bergeron to get a deal done? The salaries would work out, and the return looks fair to me. Bonus points for Heatley wearing the classic black and gold and getting to play with Savard again.

*As the guy who owns Heatley I have to say I think this sucks. Ottawa is a team I enjoyed cheering for, and in Spezza they have a pass first centerman who creates plenty of room for Heatley to do what he does best - score goals and rack up points. If he ends up elsewhere (like Edmonton, ugh), there is no guarantee that he would have linemates that can help him or that he would wear a jersey I might ever want to own. From a purely personal perspective I hope he ends up in Calgary (dream, dream, dream) Boston, Vancouver or San Jose, with Edmonton being my 'oh-please-god-no' destination.

*For comedy's sake, I wonder what would it take for Phoenix/Hamilton to land him?

- Ray Emery is going to sign with the Flyers. Which seems just about perfect in every way. Bob Clarke and Ray Emery were positively made for each other.

- Look for Biron to end up as an Oiler. It makes too much sense for him not to. Say 'bye bye' to Dwayne-I'm-pushing-40-Roloson as an Oiler - unless he takes a one year deal, or accepts a position as goalie coach.

- The Brent Sutter departure makes it seem likely that this year or next he'll be coaching the Flames. This year if Darryl makes an offer to Lou Lamouriello that Lou likes, or next year regardless. Either way, expect a Sutter to be behind the bench for the forseeable future. Judge that however you will.

- I've got to believe that Bouwmeester ends up a Leaf. Burke has too much money to spend, and a giant need to fill, and Bouwmeester fits the bill to a T. The Sedins will be of serious interest to him, but I think Vancouver finds a way to keep them, and that makes J-Bo the next item on Burkes list.

- I say Martin Havlat returns to Chicago.

- Bobby 'The God' Holik has called it quits. Bon Voyage Bobby, I will miss that awesome unibrow, the nose that ended on one side of his face and that super scary head scar. But most of all I will miss saying 'The God' Bobby Holik.

- I honestly don't know where Gaborik will end up, but my gut says on the wing with Pavol Demitra in Vancouver.

- Apparently the lumbering Derian Hatcher may make a comeback. Good luck I say.

- Lots of defections to the KHL, Sergei Fedorov, Viktor Kozlov, and Dmitri Kalinin are all moving on to the Russian league, and Maxim Afinogenov seems more than likely to go as well. Washington Capitals management who have been hit hard by some of the losses, but are nevertheless openly hoping that their failed free agent signing Michael Nylander will void his long term contract and join them all on the first boat to Sevestapol.

- Nashville has been unsuccesful in luring back Igor Radulov, which impacts their offense substantially.

- Speaking of the KHL, they instituted their first NHL style draft, and specficially included 17 year olds. Gosh, I wonder why they would do that? Perhaps to get them under contract and extort more money when the NHL comes calling? No, that couldn't be it, could it?

- Rumours continue to swirl around Vincent Lecavalier getting dealt at the draft. The fuel for these rumours is the newly stated intent of the Bolts to stay at the salary floor - one presumes until management can make a few more 'Saw' sequels and pad the bank accounts. For the record I thought the first 'Saw' movie was pretty awesome, 2 was pretty good as sequels go, and 3 pretty bad. I don't know anyone who has seen all five.

- Among the revelations of the Balsillie mess are that the NHL's way of calculating attendance is almost arbitrary - pick a number, any number. Phoneix was losing way more money than they let on, and they padded the attendance figures to keep it from being obvious. I'd feel bad for the Phoenix fans but in truth, there don't appear to have been more than a couple of thousand. Also revealed were by-laws that allow Bettman to fine owners for saying just about anything he didn't like about any topic. He may be the BOG's representative, but the fact he can assess a quarter million dollar fine to a board member for speaking out during negotiations with the Union, or for harping about the refs too much, sure puts Bettman in the big boy pants.

- I also note the passing of Peter Zezel to a rare blood disorder at the age of 45. After a stint in Philly (where he was drafted) Zezel was the setup man for Brett Hull's 72 goal season in St Louis, and went on to play a 2nd/3rd line centre role for a bunch of teams including the Leafs, New Jersey and Vancouver. A notorious playboy bachelor as a Flyer he reportedly had to be traded out of town because they had run out of puck bunnies to feed him in the greater Philadelphia area. Just a pure bummer to lose him so young.