Jagr Sickness

As the comment on YouTube says;

"Bad quality video, shitty music, but a great player"

You just can't make a bad Jagr highlight reel.

Personally I think he qualifies as the greatest player of our era other than Wayne and Mario, but with 11 years of Jagr as my FP, I'm defiantly biased.

I also think there is a fair argument to be made that Jagr with his blend of skills and size (6"3 - and between 220-240) he was simply a more overwhelming offensive player than either the ultra-durable Gordie Howe or the shoot first Rocket Richard - and that Jagr with his four straight scoring titles in a dead puck era, is arguably the greatest right winger of all time.

Here are his career stats.

Note that even during his worst statistical years in Washington, he was still a ppg or better, and that he had multiple surgeries for shoulder problems and a host of groin issues (cause no doubt by having refrigerators like Hal Gill and Derian Hatcher leaning on him all game long).

Also consider that he lost a 6th scoring title to Joe Thornton (who is 7 years younger than Jagr) and a 3rd Rocket Richard trophy to Cheechoo, on the last week of the season because of a soft schedule of non-playoff teams for San Jose that allowed their first line to fatten their stats.

Here's a great recap of some of Jagr's best goals and my break down of each one.

10. Actually a Jagr assist as he simply obliterates his coverage along the wall to cycle in front and find the wide open man - Marty McSorely. Note how the defenseman (Jeff Finley?) is allowed to grab and hold Jagr throughout and never has both hands on his stick. Also check out the interference pick thrown by Francis that helps spring Jagr free. Ah the unmistakable sweet and sour hockey of the 90's.

9. He picks off the horrible pass glides in front of the net and then in defiance of the laws of physics reverses his position in the space time continuum with his deke before going top shelf. Also has one of the best lines by an announcer... "Jaromir Jagr has the hat-trick and Lalime doesn't know whether to cry or to wind his watch". Cry Lalime, cry.

8.A. Inside, outside, inside, a dash of fear my wingspan, inside the post - goal. And yes, you are seeing that correctly, he is in fact beating Patrick Roy with a wrist shot to the AHL side of the net.

8. B. Here Jagr tortures the Canadiens 1 on 2 from centre ice.

7. In this clip he first attacks the defender with his speed and then screws him into the ice with a 'how you doing?' stick-handle, before slamming on the brakes and unleashing a backhand move that undresses the goalie to the short side.

6. Jaromir Jagr is bigger, faster and stronger than Don Sweeney of the Boston Bruins. First he picks the Bruin defender clean, then overpowers him wide, and finally paralyzes the remaining defenseman and the goaltender with a series of fakes to score what amounts to a tap in putt - all while cruising at near top speed.

5. Call this the 'art of the head fake'. Also note that according to the announcer this goal was Jagr's 4th point of the night. Something that really doesn't come through is how prolific he was. Sure he could dangle, but he once had me a 7 point night vs the Islanders! How do you get that kind of dominance to show up in a goals clip?

4. Another clip of Jagr simply overwhelming someone with raw power. Note how the helpless defender (John MacLean) attempts both to hook and grab Jagr to slow him down to no avail.

3. Jagr toys with the soul of Joe Juneau before casually snuffing it out.

2. Jagr not only gets away a hard back-hander after being tackled to the ice, but HE PICKS THE REBOUND OUT OF THE AIR AND PUTS IT TOP CORNER while sliding into the net!

And he does this with a mullet that would have made Joe Dirt cry with envy.

IMO this goal is next to Ovechkin's for its physics mocking beauty.

1. The ultimate. Fear. My. Wingspan.

The Severed Heads waive the period of mourning clause and announce that we will be adding Jagr's jersey number to the list of those retired by the team immediately. Raising ceremonies will be held at the first Heads home game.

Au Revoir Jaromir.