Locked Out League - WTF? Edition

Ok, so in the last update I bragged about the fact that the Skywalkers were finally more or less healthy and ready to compete with the top teams.

Riiiiiiiiight.

Last night the Basketball Gods decided to mock me.

First, Andrei Kirilenko is one of my all-time favourite players. He's a renowned stat-stuffer, having on many occasions posted 5 or more in five categories; pts, assists, rebounds, steals, and blocks - AND his number is 47 (making him the ultra-cool 'AK47'), AND to top it off his wife publicly declared that it was OK for Andrei to have sex with other women while on the road. So yeah, all in all, everything you want to be in a basketball player. Well after picking up Kirilenko off the waiver wire and having him perform at an above average rate for my bye week, I was chuffed to get AK47 into my active lineup against Bob. Cue the mysterious 'back spasms' and a no-show for his Wednesday game. Arrgh.

Then when checking out the Raptors vs. Memphis tilt I discovered that Andrea Bargnani (the Anti-Kirilenko - the only thing Bargs can do well is shoot, and inefficiently at that - which for an athletic and quick 7footer is about as bizarre as it gets, but I digress) has a 'sore ankle' and wouldn't be playing. Negative Awesome.

But the real kicker?

Boston vs. Brooklyn erupted into a mini-brawl when Kris Humphries put a hard foul on Kevin Garnett. Which should be awesome for me, because I have neither Humphries nor Garnett! Except that the '3rd man in' was my franchise player and assist machine Rajon Rondo, and the one player tabbed by the refs for ejection in Brooklyn was not Humphries, but Skywalker SF Gerald Wallace.

To top it all off, JR Smith (another waiver wire pickup, and the worst player I dressed this week), fould himself out of his game in like 18 minutes, but not before posting a Corey Milne like -1 stat line for the evening. Thanks JR. We won't be renewing your contract.

To review, two undiscovered injuries, two players ejected for a brawl that neither were direct participants in, and 5th player posting a negative score. Ladies and gentleman, your Lethbridge Skywalkers!

Please. Kill. Me.