Toronto--Shocking many observers, Lost Boys GM Richard Birt actually emerged from behind his giant computer/lawnmower 'Lazarus' with surgical mask and chainsaw in hand to offer waiting reporters a prognosis.
"Our best surgeons have decided that Lazarus had suffering from 3 stooges syndrome, which finally got out of hand. Though Lazarus can be saved, unfortunately it means we'll be unable to use the lawnmower or sound-effect-of-a-landing-jet capacity in the near future. This is a true loss for our team. But, the Lost Boys are considering use of Lazarus as our 3rd string goalie.
"I'd also like to use the press-conference announce our ambition to emerge from the wilderness and get a sixth place finish this year.
"At the prompting of the Severed Heads GM, I'm letting everyone know that my plans this Saturday and Sunday involve actually preparing for the WD next weekend, and I am open to any and all trade offers you might send me.
"Finally I'd like to offer my personal congratulations to the Severed Heads Management on their planned restaffing at head-office. We at the Lost Boys feel that toddlers are excellent talent scouts."
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