With another exciting FUNHL season now in
the books (congratulations to Corey on the dramatic last day victory!!) and the
NHL playoffs in full swing, I thought it might be a good time to compile a list
of theme songs for our FUNHL franchises. So I delved in to my music collection
and came up with the following tracks that I felt reflect each team. The songs were chosen based on lyrical content rather than musical merit, and most of it is heavy metal. So if that is not your cup of tea, my apologies. I hope all the hyperlinks work. Now without
further ado and in no particular order…
Scourge:
This “band” should really just be called
the Jon Schaffer Project, as he writes all the music, calls all the shots and
everyone else is just a rental player. The count of current and former band
members now stands at 32, including 5 different singers, 7 guitarists, 9
bassists and 10 drummers since forming back in 1985. This is the title track
from their latest album, and features Canadian Stu Block on vocals.
So if you're asking yourself, "Why?"
Your eyes are blind to the raging storm
Will they cleanse the earth of humanity?
Unleash the plagues of Babylon?
Your eyes are blind to the raging storm
Will they cleanse the earth of humanity?
Unleash the plagues of Babylon?
Severed
Heads:
This song comes from the self-titled debut
album by this SoCal punk band, long before they became famous with songs like
“Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)” or “Why Don’t You Get A Job”. However, it still
displays a lot of their trademark wit and is perfect for Cam’s team.
Mommy
doesn't have her head anymore
Keep it underneath my bed on the floor
That's alright though
That's ok
She never really used her head anyway
Keep it underneath my bed on the floor
That's alright though
That's ok
She never really used her head anyway
Bladerunners:
Star One is just one of the myriad projects
of Dutch musician/composer Arjen Anthony Lucassen. All of the Star One songs
are based on his favorite science fiction movies and television series. This
song, clocking in at almost 10 minutes, is of course based on Ridley Scott’s classic
film, Bladerunner, and its source material, “Do Androids Dream Of Electric
Sheep” by Philip K. Dick.
Living a life with
nothing left to gain
moments are lost, like tears in the rain
watching my dreams break down and decay
I can't give up, there must be a way
facing death with nothing to lose
no way out, no matter what we try to do
is this real or this is a lie?
will I dream, or will I just die?
moments are lost, like tears in the rain
watching my dreams break down and decay
I can't give up, there must be a way
facing death with nothing to lose
no way out, no matter what we try to do
is this real or this is a lie?
will I dream, or will I just die?
Wolves:
Technically, this song is about werewolves
not wolves, but it is one of my all-time favorite Metallica songs so it gets
the nod. It is taken from one of the best-selling albums in history. “The Black
Album” is certified 16x platinum in the US, has sold more than 30 million copies
worldwide and spent more than 282 weeks on the Billboard 200 list, making it
the ninth longest charting album of all time. Canadian connection: the album
was recorded at Little Mountain Sound Studios in Vancouver and produced by Bob
Rock (of Payolas fame).
Off through the new day's mist I run
Out from the new day's mist I have come
I hunt
Therefore I am
Harvest the land
Taking of the fallen lamb
Out from the new day's mist I have come
I hunt
Therefore I am
Harvest the land
Taking of the fallen lamb
Knights
Templar:
Honourable mention here to “Templars Of
Steel” by Hammerfall, which also would have made a fine selection for Mike’s
team, but I love this song by American progressive metal band Symphony X.
Singer, Russell Allen, is one of my favorites and really gets around. You have
already heard him performing with Star One on the Bladerunners track. He can
also be found singing with Ayreon, Avantasia, Adrenaline Mob, Allen/Lande,
Level 10 and more. Interesting fact: on any Arjen Anthony Lucassen project, he
is always credited as Sir Russell Allen. This is not because he has been
knighted by the queen, but rather because before Russell starting earning
enough money to live as a professional singer, he worked as a jouster at
Medieval Times restaurant.
Across the seas through sands of time
Knight of the Templar
A charging steed through lands unkind
A legend forever
Knight of the Templar
A charging steed through lands unkind
A legend forever
A heart of gold pumps within his metal skin
A noble line he carries on
Shadowmen:
It is quite convenient that both the song
and the band name apply to Bob’s Shadowmen. The FUNHLs most prolific trader is
no stranger to cutting deals and is usually more than willing to sacrifice the
future for the war effort. Mmmm pie… get your fingers out of there. Mine!!
How
long till we realize the truth?
The bottom line of defense and world security
The bankers and the ministry of arms
Just cut the deal and the war is on
The village burned, the desert set ablaze
Who are these men with their fingers in everybody's pie?
Big rockets and their profits all the rage
Their business plan calls for war for sale
The bottom line of defense and world security
The bankers and the ministry of arms
Just cut the deal and the war is on
The village burned, the desert set ablaze
Who are these men with their fingers in everybody's pie?
Big rockets and their profits all the rage
Their business plan calls for war for sale
Great
Whites:
The Megalodon was a prehistoric species of
shark that could grow to a size of 60 feet long, weigh 50 tons and have teeth
over 7 inches long. How frighteningly awesome is that? Thankfully these
monsters went extinct about 2.6 million years ago. It is also a good thing that
Mastodon provides the lyrics for their songs, because with their harsh vocal
style you would never be able to tell what they were singing without them.
Sensing
the blood of prey
Swimming in fear for life
Rolling over
Falling into jaws
Teeth that chatter
It distracts them all
The Fiji mermaid
She will let it know
Time is coming to feed and gnaw
Swimming in fear for life
Rolling over
Falling into jaws
Teeth that chatter
It distracts them all
The Fiji mermaid
She will let it know
Time is coming to feed and gnaw
Ramapithicines:
When it comes to songs about cave men, the
pickings are slim. In fact, this is all I could find, but it works nicely for
Corey’s Ramapithicines. Every year we all embark on the same quest, seeking
Predator Cup glory rather than fire. This song is based on the 1911 Belgian
novel by J.-H. Rosny and its 1981 film adaption about early mankind’s struggle
for control of fire.
So
they ploughed through forest and swamps of danger
And they fought the cannibal tribes and beasts
In the search to find another fire
To regain the power of life and heat.
And they fought the cannibal tribes and beasts
In the search to find another fire
To regain the power of life and heat.
Barbarians:
For Mike’s horde of unruly Barbarians I
chose this song, primarily because the members of this Finnish band like to
paint their faces and dress up like Viking warriors as part of their stage
show. Also, they are possibly the only heavy metal band with an accordion player
and are known to play most of their solos on electric violin, rather than
guitar.
What a relief it would be to end this all,
How
easy to fly the white flag and give up,
But
would I run today just to die another day,
Give
up now and every fight has been in vain,
Stand Up and Fight
Edge:
This was probably the toughest choice I had
to make. My first thought was to pick “Livin’ On the Edge” by Aerosmith for
Collin’s team, but everyone knows that song. So I instead opted for this lesser
known track by German power metal band Blind Guardian. For you Lord of the
Rings fans, I suggest you check out their 1998 album “Nightfall in Middle
Earth”, which is based on J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Silmarillion”.
This
is the edge now
It's all we're living for
Rain on me
Love you will rain on me
It's all we're living for
Rain on me
Love you will rain on me
Highlanders:
Duh! Do I really need to provide an
explanation for this choice? There can be only one. The only other possible option
would have been to find some bagpipe music, which seems to be a bit lacking in
my collection.
And
here we are, We're the princes of the universe,
Here we belong, Fighting for survival,
We've come to be the rulers of you all
Here we belong, Fighting for survival,
We've come to be the rulers of you all
Personal
Vendetta:
Many options to choose from here. I passed
on good candidates like “Vendetta” by Slipknot, “The Grudge” by Tool, “Revenge”
by Papa Roach, “Vengeance Is Mine” by Alice Cooper and “Justice In Murder” by
Coheed & Cambria in favor of this track from Canadian rocker Danko Jones.
These three lines seem to me the very epitome of vengeance.
I
know I'm gonna live through this
And when the wound on my back heals
I'm coming to get you, I'm coming to get you
And when the wound on my back heals
I'm coming to get you, I'm coming to get you
